LAWN WARS. May my neighbor never find and read this.

Lawn wars.  Lets not pretend like they don't exist.  In my neighborhood[or perhaps just my mind], it's ON.  Spring is here, and my grass has been waiting patiently to dole out a never ending supply of work intended for me and only me.  It knows I am obsessed with certain things[like saving money], and it knows that I have an unfounded fear that no one else will ever do as good a job as I can manicuring my piece of American paradise.  The problem is the neighbor across the street feels the same way.  For the purposes of this blog/rant we will call this neighbor......Cliff.  Cliff is in his late 40s, and his yard is always........perfect.  It has irritated me since the day my bride and I called this house our home.  Green, lush, perfect mow lines.....hedging....trees.....all of it, perfect.  He also talks a perpetual blue streak with such a quick and crowded eloquence that I actually avoid the guy even though he is ridiculously nice[this also annoys me].  Now, as I said, "Cliff" is in his late-40's and lives alone.  He owns two bright WHITE cars - one Toyota Tundra truck, and one white Lexus, both with gold trim.  They are both forever spotless.  He likes to park them side-by-side in his driveway just to let you know they are free from all blemishes, smudges, or scratches that seem to afflict the rest of the population's vehicles.  My mind has oft wandered and wondered about this man who's castle is his own, with no queen to rule the land.......now, I'm not saying he is homosexual nor do I care.  Just because a man irons his bright blue, pink, and yellow patterned shorts and stares at me a little too hard for a little too long does not necessarily mean he is gay.  He is of asian descent[so if he WERE gay, would this make him Gaysian?!  Just wondering.....]with a receding hairline and a wide smile.  Well, friends - THIS IS MY SUMMER.  I find it funny that WE, right across the street, own two BLACK cars.  Kinda like the good cowboy and the bad cowboy of the wild, wild grass.  It has consumed two summers to really get this lawn where I want it, but now everything is juuuuust right.  Our grass has already come in nice and thick and green - all the trees, plants, flowers, and hedges have recently been tended to and trimmed into a virtual Eden, and I just completed the first[and arguably most beautifully executed by the hands of man]mowing of the season.  In short, the SIMS Golf Resort is open for business.  I'd like to give credit where credit is due however, and mention that, in all fairness, I have a secret weapon fertilizer that Cliff does NOT possess.  Her name is Kinley, and she is an oversized female Doberman that owns my heart.  She also owns the backyard, where she has blessed our home with more poop than a Port-A-Potty at a Chili festival.  That's another issue - Kinley's all natural offerings.  While they make our lawn a sight to behold in shades of dense emerald, they are not always picked up on time[love you baby!]and so I encounter them while in the heat of battle through sweat-soaked eyes[man, yesterday's hairspray STINGS!!]with engines roaring and no way I'm going to stop.  This leaves only one option - running  them over.  It's a poor mans mulch.  The terrible part, is that running over week-old excrement that has been aged and dried as a fine wine or butcher-shop beef jerky, leaves a cloud.  A poop cloud.  A poop cloud that I am smart enough to know probably in one way or another finds a sneaky way into the air I breathe.  Ah well.....the beauty of pet ownership.  ANYWAYS, now I know this is gonna be a long and likely hot summer, but I am also aware that life is a marathon - not a sprint.  I am digging in for the long haul, and will settle for no less than victory in this most crucial of summer events - LAWN WARS.  Bring it Cliff.

Wanna Be Happy? Wanna Be Successful?

It's incredible how simply and purposefully the word of God has instructed His people, yet how easily we find ourselves confused or disgruntled with our lives.  God has blatantly instructed us as to how we should react, respond, and execute our decision-making, yet we spin in circles wondering why we are unsuccessful, unfulfilled, and short-changed.  The real problem, is that we just don't listen.  If we did, we would realize our problem is easily identified using a simple hand mirror.  I pray for the fullness of God's will for any who read this.


Proverbs 21
Chapter 21

1 The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD;
he guides it wherever he pleases.2 People may be right in their own
eyes,
but the LORD examines their heart.3 The LORD is more pleased when
we do what is right and just
than when we offer him sacrifices.4 Haughty eyes, a proud heart,
and evil actions are all sin.5 Good planning and hard work lead to
prosperity,
but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.6 Wealth created by a lying tongue
is a vanishing mist and a deadly trap.t
7 The violence of the wicked
sweeps them away,
because they refuse to do what is just.8 The guilty walk a crooked
path;
the innocent travel a straight road.9 It’s better to live alone in the
corner of an attic
than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.10 Evil people desire
evil;
their neighbors get no mercy from them.11 If you punish a mocker, the
simpleminded become wise;
if you instruct the wise, they will be all the wiser.12 The Righteous One
t knows what is going on in the homes of the wicked;
he will bring disaster on them.13 Those who shut their ears to the cries
of the poor
will be ignored in their own time of need.14 A secret gift calms anger;
a bribe under the table pacifies fury.15 Justice is a joy to the godly,
but it terrifies evildoers.16 The person who strays from common sense
will end up in the company of the dead.17 Those who love pleasure
become poor;
those who love wine and luxury will never be rich.18 The wicked are
punished in place of the godly,
and traitors in place of the honest.19 It’s better to live alone in the
desert
than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.20 The wise have wealth and
luxury,
but fools spend whatever they get.21 Whoever pursues righteousness
and unfailing love
will find life, righteousness, and honor.22 The wise conquer the city of
the strong
and level the fortress in which they trust.23 Watch your tongue and
keep your mouth shut,
and you will stay out of trouble.24 Mockers are proud and haughty;
they act with boundless arrogance.25 Despite their desires, the lazy will
come to ruin,
for their hands refuse to work.26 Some people are always greedy for
more,
but the godly love to give!27 The sacrifice of an evil person is
detestable,
especially when it is offered with wrong motives.28 A false witness will
be cut off,
but a credible witness will be allowed to speak.29 The wicked bluff their
way through,
but the virtuous think before they act.30 No human wisdom or
understanding or plan
can stand against the LORD.31 The horse is prepared for the day of
battle,
but the victory belongs to the LORD.