Life and Limb.

I've been on a interesting journey lately.  You see, Melissa and I are "registering".  Registering..........what a bizarre deal this is.  "Registering" is [apparently]where you choose a couple of different stores that you and your bride-to-be enjoy, go to their "wedding registry" information desk, and sign some papers.  What do these papers say?  I honestly don't know.  By the time they've been signed, I've always been one or two 620z'ers of "Rooster Booster" energy slurpee deep, and fighting off the jittery hands/blurry eyes that are the consequence of said action.  Inability to pay attention to [virtually]anything seems to also accompany the afore mentioned symptoms, so all's I know is that I sign the papers.  They could presently own the rights to the blog I am blogging for all I know.  After I've inked my John Hancock, they give me a gun - - - - - YES!!!  Now we're talking!!!  Yeah-they give you a gun, and you get to run around the store and "zap" anything you think you and your sweetheart may need and/or desire within the confines of your near and newly consecrated[future]marriage.  This could mean a blender..........or this could mean a lemon zester - it's completely up to ME[I mean us]!!!!!!  I gotta tell you, so far, Melissa and I have been to three different stores.  At two of the stores, the "Registry Officials" have informed us that we really need to register for more.  At the third place, we've registered for one[yes, ONE]thing.  I don't know how it's happened, but I've slowly come to realize that we are simply not good register's.  We need to learn how to be a bit more greedy it seems.............anyway, we'll learn with time I assume - we do still have 5months to add on after all.  By the time we're done with all of this, I plan on having a vacation for 4 to Bermuda and a miniature pot-bellied pig named Elvis[loooooooongtime dream of mine, it WILL happen someday]on that list.  The point to all of this rambling friends, is this: whilst perusing one of our registry stores over the weekend, I noticed a display table.  Upon the rather attractive display table was a very chunky, heavy, impressive silver tray.  Layed within and atop the container fashioned of metal, were some mossy limbs.  By this I mean actual, mossy limbs.  Like, actual mossy limbs that you might find outdoors on any given nearby forest bed.  Now, that struck me as odd, but not altogether unfathomable.  What truly blew me away, was that there was a PRICE TAG on the mossy limbs!!!  These twigs retailed for $25.00, but were now on sale for $9.99!!!!  For limbs?!??!!  TEN BUCKS FOR LIMBS??  And, to clarify, that was APIECE!!  TEN BUCKS APIECE!!!!  I mean, any decent and self-respecting household would want at least three or four of those puppies to do the display itself justice, right?  So, now we're talking a minimum of $30-40 for limbs!!!!  Unreal.  I had no idea.  I truly, truly had no idea that our American society had been reduced to this.  These were for sale in a reputable and popular store in an upscale shopping district in Atlanta, which means one thing - SOMEBODY is buying them.  Somebody is paying actual money, for limbs with some moss on them.  I've learned, that when coming to a realization in life, you can do one of two things.  You can either: A. accept it as truth and decide what you are going to do about it, or B. Stick your head in the sand, play dumb[lot's of people choose this method in life, by the way]and pretend it doesn't exist.  Well folks, you can't hide from the truth, and I have decided what to do about it.  I say, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em".  So, I've done my research and found a wholesale distributor[the Chattahoochee River Park]not even a half-mile from where I live with an endless supply of product.  I am going into the limb business.  TONY SIMS' MOSSY LIMBS.  Just let that marinate for a minute.....rolls off the tongue pretty nicely huh?  You can place your orders with me now, and get in on the front end of this deal 'cause you know the demand is only going to up.  TONY SIMS' MOSSY LIMBS - "tell a friend, tell a neighbor, get yours now or regret it later!!"  Email me today - buy two mossy limbs for only $18.99, and get the third limb free!!  That's a savings of nine dollars!!  AND, that's not all, order right now to receive at no additional charge, a handful of dirt!! That's right - FREE DIRT!!!  Just tell 'em TONY sent'cha................