Desires Of The Heart

I am in the midst of reading a book authored by John Eldridge entitled "Desire".  I had read another book of Mr. Eldridge's["Wild At Heart"]when my wife Melissa had turned me onto it and told me it was great.  It was great.  When I saw this book sitting on the shelf at Barnes and Noble, it called out to me.  I didn't know at the time who had written it, but the title grabbed me and said "you know something about this don't you?" "maybe there are some answers in here".  Maybe there are, it's too soon to say.  However, within the book this morning I ran into this quote by C.S. Lewis that says

"I knew only too well how easily the longing accepts false objects and through what dark ways the pursuit of them leads us.  But I also saw that the Desire itself contains the corrective of all these errors.  The only fatal error was to pretend you had passed from desire to fruition, when, in reality, you had found either nothing, or desire itself, or the satisfaction of some different desire.  The dialectic of Desire, faithfully followed, would retrieve all mistakes, head you off from all false paths, and force you to live through...a sort of [experiential] proof".

I'm still processing a bit, and am as of yet unsure as to why this hit me so hard, but strike me smartly it did indeed.  You see, I am straining to learn the ever-so-delicate balance of doing what you know you should and need to do, and doing what the wildness of your heart compels you to.  I know that God understands desire very, very well.  In fact, it was He who programmed it into us, that we might understand something greater than mere existence and/or survival.  And yet, most of us see our desire[s] as more of an enemy that doesn't fit into the requirements of our day-to-day life.  When you are young, it is a motivator.  As we age, somehow it becomes an unrealistic[and oftentimes heartbreaking]irritation.  I know I struggle with my own.  I have had a deep-down dream as long as I can remember, that I have only recently come to understand for the selfish and unreasonable thing that it is.  Somehow, the true desire that God Himself had planted inside of me, got twisted and became something else altogether.  C.S. Lewis' words resonate profoundly with me, as I know he was correct.  God grants us all abilities and talents and gifts that we may build up the kingdom of heaven for His glory, and for his satisfaction.  Somewhere along the way, most of us start buying the concept that we should use all we have for a personal payoff.  You know.......God's most beautiful angel, Lucifer, thought the same thing.  Things didn't turn out so well for him[at least, they won't by the end].  Now, I am starting to understand that the desire within us is not something to be avoided or scared of, but to be genuinely enjoyed in it's purity and as the gift it truly is.  Our desires are not evil, but rather, choices we make as a result of our desires sometimes are.  The trick here, I guess, is to be able to differentiate between the two.  The easiest way I see to do that, is to ask yourself "who does this benefit?  Me or God?".  If the answer is God, you're gonna win everytime.

(Psalms 37:4-6) Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.  He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.